There is a direct relationship between contentment and expectations. If personal expectations are unrealistic or make no allowance for God’s sovereignty, contentment will suffer. If expectations are not grounded upon God’s promises and commands, they are grounded upon earthly vanities. Success upon this foundation will not bring contentment, for godliness with contentment is learned in the patiently and joyfully plodded path of obedience to God’s word.
Expectations are all over the place: personal prosperity, having more or better things, being respected, finding a spouse, making your spouse better, looking better, feeling better. Some of us hang our expectations and therefore our contentment upon the hook of making the world a better place, however you define that. For others, to be successful and therefore to be content, life is a long to-do list of activities, travels, and projects, all completed.
The Lord calls us to a different set of life expectations. “And that you study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you” (1 Thess. 4:11). Similarly, after directing us to pray for kings and those in authority, the Holy Spirit tells us one purpose for these prayers: “that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty. For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior” (1 Tim. 2:2-3). The Lord wants us quietly, faithfully serving him – not discontented, unsettled, and miserable because we bow at the altar of our worldly expectations.
“Quiet” means tranquil, at rest. We are to study living this way, so that our lives may be a light and model to others. The Lord is saving people (1 Tim. 2:4). He saves sin-agitated people through faith-quieted people – who know the Lord and do their work humbly and diligently.
That we are to “study” this way of life means that we are to strive after it. It is not learned in a day, without the Lord’s humbling hand upon us, without the experience that comes through enduring affliction patiently. “Quiet” in 1 Thessalonians 4:11 means “to love honor.” From this, the etymology suggests striving to bring to pass something honorable, worthy of our time and attention. This is the kind of life we are to study – quiet before the Lord and his word so that we can enjoy his fellowship and seek his strength – without which we will fail (John 15:5). From the quiet of stillness before him, we must study to do our individual work and calling quietly, “with good will, from the heart, serving Christ” (Eph. 6:6-7).
To study to be quiet, begin with prayer. Give the Lord praise for three of his glories – start with holiness, grace, and love. Give him thanks – begin with close-in gifts of life and family, then outward to your vocation and congregation. Read a bit of the Gospels – a paragraph will be sufficient – then ask questions like: “what are these heavenly lines teaching me about my Lord? Who he is? What is he doing here and how does he continue to do it for his people from heaven? How should this impact the way I live – the duties facing me today?” Confess your sins honestly; examine yourself in the mirror of God’s word. There can be no quiet, striving after honorable living without a broken and contrite heart before the Lord. He must be our expectation; when he is, whatever else happens, we can learn godliness with contentment.
Quietly seeking the Lord and doing one’s own business are not a very American dynamic. We are busy-bodies, and our technology has made it easy to indulge this sinful luxury. But quietness is God’s dynamic. Remember his mountaintop revelation to Elijah – he was not speaking in the wind, fire, and earthquake, but in the still, small voice. It is better to hear him quietly each day, in his word and in humble prayer, casting our cares upon him, and learning that “in quiet and trusting confidence shall be your strength” (Isa. 30:15).
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