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Loving Friends Bound in Covenant 1 Samuel 20

What Have I Done? Love Binds Brothers (vv. 1-9)

1Then David fled from Naioth in Ramah, and went and said to Jonathan, "What have I done? What is my iniquity, and what is my sin before your father, that he seeks my life?" 2So Jonathan said to him, "By no means! You shall not die! Indeed, my father will do nothing either great or small without first telling me. And why should my father hide this thing from me? It is not so!" 3 Then David took an oath again, and said, "Your father certainly knows that I have found favor in your eyes, and he has said, 'Do not let Jonathan know this, lest he be grieved.' But truly, as the LORD lives and as your soul lives, there is but a step between me and death." 4 So Jonathan said to David, "Whatever you yourself desire, I will do it for you." 5 And David said to Jonathan, "Indeed tomorrow is the New Moon, and I should not fail to sit with the king to eat. But let me go, that I may hide in the field until the third day at evening. 6 "If your father misses me at all, then say, 'David earnestly asked permission of me that he might run over to Bethlehem, his city, for there is a yearly sacrifice there for all the family.' 7 "If he says thus: 'It is well,' your servant will be safe. But if he is very angry, then be sure that evil is determined by him. 8 "Therefore you shall deal kindly with your servant, for you have brought your servant into a covenant of the LORD with you. Nevertheless, if there is iniquity in me, kill me yourself, for why should you bring me to your father?" 9 But Jonathan said, "Far be it from you! For if I knew certainly that evil was determined by my father to come upon you, then would I not tell you?"


There Will be Trials, Injustice, Seasons of Uncertainty

Friendship and brotherhood in the body of Christ will be tested. Disagreements arise. Confusion in personal circumstances or troubling times test our faith and our love. Will our love “bear all things, believe all things, hope all things, and endure all things” (1 Cor. 13:7)? Through no fault of their own, Jonathan and David came to such a place. David quietly sought out Jonathan – “what have I done?” He is convinced that Saul is determined to kill him. Jonathan is not as certain. He cannot imagine that there is a secret plot to murder David and that his father would hide the plan from him. Godly men are often slow to suspect the evil intentions of others, for godly men live guilelessly before the Lord, and thus believe the best about others. David tried to disillusion his friend. Saul knows how close we are. He would not tell you, for he does not want to grieve you. But I know there is only a step between me and death. David’s situation was grave. Many believers in the world can say the same. Persecution, the rise of violence, paganism, and the attacks of murdering Satan are constant dangers. We need David’s realism about our times, not to make us fearful and morose, cynical and angry, but so that we draw closer to the Lord, and to one another (Mal. 3:16; Heb. 10:25).


Chesed (Covenant) Secures Friends

Jonathan did exactly that. He did not dismiss David’s concerns. “What do you want me to do?” David suggested that Jonathan feel out his father’s attitude at the New Moon feast. If he is angry that I am absent, we will know that he wants to kill me. If he accepts my absence, then perhaps there is hope. David in his soul knows he is at war for his life. Stratagem was necessary, and there is no issue here of lying. If someone is trying to kill you, you do not walk up to him in a friendly fashion or tell him where you are hiding. You try to ascertain his whereabouts, strength, and the best way to counter the threat. David bases his request to Jonathan upon chesed. This is translated kindness or lovingkindness. It is the language of covenant. It is the same word so often used of the Lord’s lovingkindness to us, his enduring mercies, and his covenant loyalty. Covenant is the dominant idea in this chapter, the tie that binds, the security of believers in time and eternity. The covenant of friendship between David and Jonathan was the fruit of the covenant of grace they both embraced. Loved by God, they loved one another. Bound to the Lord and his promises, they were bound to each other. Their friendship was not based upon whims and fancies, but a commitment to serve the Lord and one another, whatever happened.

This is the same with us. In covenant with the Lord, we are in covenant with one another. We should be more intentional in thought, word, and deed about our covenant of friendship. We are bound to one another in the body of Christ. “One Lord, one faith, one baptism” (Eph. 4:5) is the unbreakable foundation of our unity. “By one Spirit we are baptized into one body” (1 Cor. 12:13).  We trust in one precious blood and are bound to one Head. Thus, we cannot treat one another as we please. We take up the cup of the Lord and re-pledge each week to live together as brothers, bear one another’s burdens, weep with those who weep, confront one another, pray for one another, and encourage one another. Like David and Jonathan, kindness and faithfulness must mark our relations. Confrontation and rebuke are also part of our covenant bond. Love confronts and endeavors to live in peace. Love is willing to endure those rebukes. “Faithful are the wounds of a friend.” As David said to Jonathan, “If I have sinned, kill me yourself.” He would rather his dear friend smite him than Saul, whom he knew to be his mortal enemy. Jonathan, however, affirmed his loyalty and denied any knowledge of a plot to kill David.


How Will I Know? Love Survives the Storms (vv. 10-34)

10 Then David said to Jonathan, "Who will tell me, or what if your father answers you roughly?" 11 And Jonathan said to David, "Come, and let us go out into the field." So both of them went out into the field. 12 Then Jonathan said to David: "The LORD God of Israel is witness! When I have sounded out my father sometime tomorrow, or the third day, and indeed there is good toward David, and I do not send to you and tell you, 13 "may the LORD do so and much more to Jonathan. But if it pleases my father to do you evil, then I will report it to you and send you away, that you may go in safety. And the LORD be with you as He has been with my father. 14 "And you shall not only show me the kindness of the LORD while I still live, that I may not die; 15 "but you shall not cut off your kindness from my house forever, no, not when the LORD has cut off every one of the enemies of David from the face of the earth." 16 So Jonathan made a covenant with the house of David, saying, "Let the LORD require it at the hand of David's enemies." 17 Now Jonathan again caused David to vow, because he loved him; for he loved him as he loved his own soul. 18 Then Jonathan said to David, "Tomorrow is the New Moon; and you will be missed, because your seat will be empty. 19 "And when you have stayed three days, go down quickly and come to the place where you hid on the day of the deed; and remain by the stone Ezel. 20 "Then I will shoot three arrows to the side, as though I shot at a target; 21 "and there I will send a lad, saying, 'Go, find the arrows.' If I expressly say to him, 'Look, the arrows are on this side of you; get them and come' -- then, as the LORD lives, there is safety for you and no harm. 22 "But if I say thus to the young man, 'Look, the arrows are beyond you' -- go your way, for the LORD has sent you away.        23 "And as for the matter which you and I have spoken of, indeed the LORD be between you and me forever."           24 Then David hid in the field. And when the New Moon had come, the king sat down to eat the feast. 25 Now the king sat on his seat, as at other times, on a seat by the wall. And Jonathan arose, and Abner sat by Saul's side, but David's place was empty. 26 Nevertheless Saul did not say anything that day, for he thought, "Something has happened to him; he is unclean, surely he is unclean." 27 And it happened the next day, the second day of the month, that David's place was empty. And Saul said to Jonathan his son, "Why has the son of Jesse not come to eat, either yesterday or today?" 28 So Jonathan answered Saul, "David earnestly asked permission of me to go to Bethlehem. 29 "And he said, 'Please let me go, for our family has a sacrifice in the city, and my brother has commanded me to be there. And now, if I have found favor in your eyes, please let me get away and see my brothers.' Therefore he has not come to the king's table." 30 Then Saul's anger was aroused against Jonathan, and he said to him, "You son of a perverse, rebellious woman! Do I not know that you have chosen the son of Jesse to your own shame and to the shame of your mother's nakedness? 31 "For as long as the son of Jesse lives on the earth, you shall not be established, nor your kingdom. Now therefore, send and bring him to me, for he shall surely die." 32 And Jonathan answered Saul his father, and said to him, "Why should he be killed? What has he done?"      33 Then Saul cast a spear at him to kill him, by which Jonathan knew that it was determined by his father to kill David. 34 So Jonathan arose from the table in fierce anger, and ate no food the second day of the month, for he was grieved for David, because his father had treated him shamefully.


Lives before God’s Face

Jonathan and David made a plan to communicate after Jonathan probed his father’s attitude toward David. After they go out into the field, Jonathan prayed and called upon God to witness the truth of his words and the sincerity of heart. He lays out his plan before the Lord’s face. He calls upon God to smite him if he hides his father’s ill will from David. He will, as the Lord is his witness, tell David the truth and send him away in peace. And then, Jonathan asks the Lord to be with David as king, as he was with his father. This is one of the most remarkable prayers in Scripture. Jonathan’s heart is Christ-loving, God-trusting, David-loving, utterly self-emptying. He lives before God’s face, and thus seeks nothing for himself – no throne, no position, no honor. He was without deceit, ulterior motives, and selfish desire. May the Lord our Savior help us to live before his face as Jonathan did. Then, whether we have gain or loss, increase or decrease, we can call the Lord to witness the sincerity of our hearts before him. Jonathan was so conscious of the Lord that though he was in David’s presence, he was praying and speaking to the Lord. Jonathan calls us to live before the Lord’s face, to pray without ceasing, to seek nothing for ourselves, and to desire only the glory of God and the good of one another. And since we can by no means produce this heart in ourselves, let us cast ourselves upon the grace of our Savior and seek from him the new life and love that he gives to us by the Holy Spirit.


Binds Us in Covenant with One Another

Jonathan was confident that David would be king. He pleads again on the basis of chesed, loyal, covenant love, that David will not kill him. A royal change in those days often meant the death of the previous royal line. Jonathan implies he will be no threat to David but gladly serve and help him. What a John to Jesus! David, you must increase, and I must decrease, but spare me, that I may revel in your rise! Jonathan pled the same lovingkindness for his house, his descendants. The Lord will cut off all your enemies, and my family will never be one of them, so spare us. And thus, Jonathan renewed the covenant of friendship with David’s house. He might have easily betrayed David to Saul, but he loved David as his own soul. His love was based upon covenant, God’s own covenant of mercy and grace, now blooming in loyal friendship between the two men. Jonathan asked David to swear again, and David certainly did. They were bound together by the closest ties of love for God, commitment to his grace and kingdom, and commitment to one another. This is what the Lord’s lovingkindness and mercy does in our lives, as we grow and are dominated by his love and mercy – low views of ourselves, but high views of others; serving others, while not seeking to be served, or counting the cost of service, or desiring anything but to please our Lord. May we seek the mind of our Savior and to be as true to one another as these two friends were! We must walk in the Spirit, for he alone works our Savior’s love in us.


Stronger than Man’s Treacheries

Jonathan and David’s covenant of friendship would be tested. They made a plan that after Jonathan learned his father’s mind toward David, Jonathan would shoot three arrows into the field. If he shot them in one spot and sent a servant-boy to retrieve them, David would know all was well. But, if he shot them on the other side and told the servant-boy to keep heading away from David, he would know that he must flee. The first day of the feast, Saul noticed David’s absence but said nothing about it. “Perhaps he is unclean,” Saul thought to himself, perhaps with derision. David was absent the next day of the feast, which was evidently at this time not only a religious but also a civil observance. Saul asked Jonathan for an explanation. He is at home with his family to observe a feast there and asks to be excused. This was untrue. We cannot justify deception in private quarrels not involving the strategies of warfare. Saul was a threatening enemy, but David already knew this. Saul was irate. He called Jonathan a very coarse name – “You son of a ----“ is literal. Only the vilest men insult women, wives, and children. Saul screamed at Jonathan that he would never be king as long as David lived. “Why must he be killed?” Jonathan asked. Saul’s response was to hurl a spear at Jonathan. Saul hated everyone, including Jonathan. He would engulf the entire world in his rage rather than admit his own sinfulness, his own forsakenness. Jonathan left the table. He preferred the love of his hated friend to the favor of the king. He was obeying Christ – “he who loves father or mother more than me” (Matt. 10:37). God’s love for us is sweeter than the acceptance of men. His love in us empowers us to love one another more than the world’s acceptance and pleasures. He makes us willing to bear the shame of the world, if only we may gain Christ and be counted worthy ourselves to suffer shame for his name.


Who Do I Trust?  Covenant the Tie that Binds (vv. 35-42)

35 And so it was, in the morning, that Jonathan went out into the field at the time appointed with David, and a little lad was with him. 36 Then he said to his lad, "Now run, find the arrows which I shoot." As the lad ran, he shot an arrow beyond him. 37 When the lad had come to the place where the arrow was which Jonathan had shot, Jonathan cried out after the lad and said, "Is not the arrow beyond you?" 38 And Jonathan cried out after the lad, "Make haste, hurry, do not delay!" So Jonathan's lad gathered up the arrows and came back to his master. 39 But the lad did not know anything. Only Jonathan and David knew of the matter. 40 Then Jonathan gave his weapons to his lad, and said to him, "Go, carry them to the city." 41 As soon as the lad had gone, David arose from a place toward the south, fell on his face to the ground, and bowed down three times. And they kissed one another; and they wept together, but David more so. 42 Then Jonathan said to David, "Go in peace, since we have both sworn in the name of the LORD, saying, 'May the LORD be between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants, forever.' " So he arose and departed, and Jonathan went into the city. 


Bound to Jesus Christ, Bound to One Another

Jonathan kept his promise. Like the God before whose face he lived, he kept covenant with David. He did not betray David’s hiding place, even though to shield him lost him the throne. He did not care about thrones but about David. Cold hearts cannot understand love like Jonathan’s for David, or they twist it into something perverse. They are strangers to fellow-believers delighting in one another, seeing Christ in one another and loving him in each other. We love one another so strongly because we admire Christ’s gifts and graces, see Him, and are bound in one heart and hope. Jonathan followed through with the plan. He shot the arrows and cried out to the young man that they were beyond him. He gathered them up, and Jonathan sent him back to the city. David was safe. Chesed prevailed over the flesh that craves thrones and recognition, as Satan tempted our Lord. Chesed prevailed over family ties and fear. Covenant loves bears and believes all things. It endures insults and disappointment. It “counts all thing loss save for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ.” David was being tested, but Jonathan was perhaps more seriously tested. Would he keep covenant or ignore the ties of loyalty to promote himself? Jonathan was bound to Jesus Christ, the coming Messiah, and therefore he was bound to David. He passed the test.


Love Weeps and Holds Fast to the True

Lest we be overly sentimental about covenant love, see the humility and tears of true love. David fell on the ground before Jonathan. David’s heart was humbled and thankful. He took nothing for granted. He was like his greater Son – lowly and meek in heart, small in his own eyes. They wept and embraced, perhaps sensing they would not see each other again. They kissed and wept until David was overcome. He knew that Jonathan had saved his life. He knew the friend he had in Jonathan. He hated to leave his beloved friend to face the wrath of Saul. But what could he do? He would not touch the Lord’s anointed. He would now become a vagabond. Jonathan told him to go in peace. Their covenant had preserved them. It was not a covenant of mushy-minded, sentimental friendship. It was a covenant before the Lord, between their two houses. Wherever they now found themselves in the world, they would always do each other good. Christian love is the highest, most noble of the Spirit’s fruits, the leading fruit of all the others (Gal. 5:22-23). But it has nothing in common with worldly love – that takes and seeks gratification, to promote itself, to use others to get ahead. Love weeps with others. It makes a prince willing to give his crown to a shepherd boy. It is like Christ in this. There is nothing but purity in his love – giving, sacrificing, serving. The Lord was preaching this gospel to his people even in those early days of his kingdom.


Jesus Christ is the Covenant (Isa. 42:6)

Such love between friends seems strange to us. Men leave churches today and never communicate again with brothers with whom they worshipped the week before. We live such atomized lives of self-seeking that this kind of outward facing, giving love is foreign to us. It might embarrass us or cause us to blush. Some let no one into their soul. It is not that David and Jonathan were this close to everyone. Our Lord was not – he had three close friends – Mary, Martha, and Lazarus – and three close disciples – Peter, James, and John. But we have a foundation for this kind of closeness with one another in God’s covenant with us through his Son. Jesus Christ is the Father’s great gift of lovingkindness to us. In Jesus Christ, the Father has opened to us wells of salvation and mercy. And drinking there, our pride is crushed, or at least suffers a fatal blow. Life becomes less about finding and founding our personal empires and more about promoting others and serving others.

Christians loving and serving, promoting and weeping with each other, forgiving and helping and giving to each other is all founded upon God’s covenant of peace, grace, and friendship with us. Christians love like they do, or should, because we have been so loved by our Master. This is the great call of discipleship – to love and serve, prefer and promote one another, as our Lord has done for us. He is the Son of God. He gave up his life for us, his honor for a while to bear our shame, to become sin for us, and to be cursed and spit upon for us. The more we know and walk with him, the more we adore him, the more we shall willingly spend and be spent for another, forgive as we have been forgiven, and rejoice in the promotion of others, even if it cost us everything. This is the kind of love that will make the world know we are Christ’s disciples, that there is something very different about us. We are loving friends bound in covenant. This love, because it is empowered by faith, will overcome the world. And since love is heavenly, we must,

Examine ourselves, to see if we are in the faith and have this love;

Repent of all cold, selfish, and suspicious hearts toward one another;

Endeavor to put to death the attitudes that alienate others from us;

Walk in covenant friendship with one another by imitating Christ in his sacrificing love.

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